Accident Sequence

What works about your sequence?
Frstly, there are a variety of shots shown in my sequence, we hav a close up, low-angle, long shot and even a backwards track. this variety makes the sequence look more professional and it makes it more interesting. Secondly we made sure when we storyboarded our sequence that the flow of the sequence was good, in order to do this we made sure we didnt go from a close-up to a long-shot, or a low-angle to a high-angle, throughout our sequence there wasn't a massive dofference between the shots, for example we went from a mid-shot to a long-shot back to a mid-shot. finally our penultimate shot of the boy hitting his head, was fshot by the view of an onlooker, the whole sequnce was leading up to this shot, and we chose to us this view so the audience could witness what was happening and make them laugh, which is the whole point of the sequence.
What doesn't work about your sequence?
The long-shot of the two girls looking at the camera doesn't work very well, it is meant to be the view of the boy, but the type of shot chosen didn't work, we should of used a hand-held shot and walked faster with the camera to give the effect we're the boy, it is an important shot in the sequence as it ties all the shots together but the delivery is poor. Also we are missing an establishing shot in the sequence, we don't get the sense of where we are the sequence starts with a backwards track of the boy, which is a good shot, but its not appropriate to start with. We also needed a master shot of all three characters, so we can get the sense of their position to eachother.
What would you change in your storyboard to make it make sense?
If i could storyboard the sequence again, i would start with an estblishing shot of the path the boys walking on, which also has the bit of the field the girls are sitting on in the frame, this will tell the audience where the characters are. I would also have an over the shoulder shot of the boy with his head directed towards the girls, so it is clear what he is looking at, because the sequence lacks a master shot we don't actually know where he is looking, and the whole point of the sequence is that he has an accident because he is concentrating on the girls and not where he is walking.